Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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