i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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