Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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