i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize