Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
