There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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