We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize