i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i came on her dog
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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