Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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