shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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