Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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