What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
