I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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