I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
PANTIES FOUND
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