Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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