Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize