Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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