I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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