Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Send help, water and tortillas.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
