The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.