ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My dick has a subreddit
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....