Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
