i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...