On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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