So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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