If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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