masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize