I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
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I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
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I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon