Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
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Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
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She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry