All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's so Britney 2007, you know?