Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
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you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
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If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.