Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
