i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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