You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My feet surprised me
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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