i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize