I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
