I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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