I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
