Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
