My Higher Power is John Stamos
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
