he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
