do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
