know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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