can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
