i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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