my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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