all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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