I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
