a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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