I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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