scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
