i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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