So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
