The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
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He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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