but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
