Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
my liver is dry heaving
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
