How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
