It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
