Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
So. Much. Porn.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize