lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
