I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
