you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
