I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
