Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
