Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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