thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Acid is not a monday night drug
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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